Starting Over | Rock Solid Week 3

“One thing just led to another.” You just wanted to fix a leaky faucet, and now you find yourself neck-deep in a gutted kitchen. For many of us, our beliefs have taken a similar path—it started with a single question we couldn’t answer, and now we’re staring at the wreckage of what used to be our faith. Join us as Brian talks about how to rebuild the ruins.

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    - Welcome to Crossroads.
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    Today, we're talking about something that's
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    pressing on a lot of people's minds and, no, it's
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    not who is People's sexiest man alive this year,
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    although honestly, Paul Rudd deserved it, right?
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    I mean, he really does.
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    - Hey, look at us.
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    -Look at us. Who would have thought.
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    - Not me.
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    - That's not it.
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    I'm talking about deconstruction.
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    What is it? What does it mean? Is it good? Is it necessary?
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    What do we do with it?
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    Well, today our senior pastor, my mentor,
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    Brian Tome, is going to address all of it.
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    Let's get started right now.
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    - This is good here. Hee-Haw, Hee-Haw, Hee-Haw.
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    Oh, man, yeah, I'm playing with Legos and you're not.
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    Legos are really pretty amazing.
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    They just keep getting better and better and better.
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    And actually, it's a metaphor that we're using today
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    because when someone brings Legos into their life,
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    they want to build something; they
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    don't want to take something down.
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    Today, many, many people as it relates
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    to faith are not trying to build
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    faith, we're instead trying to
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    deconstruct my faith, take my faith down.
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    Several years ago in Spain, an elderly
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    parishioner noticed that the fresco of Jesus in
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    her church was degrading, that the plaster,
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    that the colors were on it had flaked off.
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    And she decided to take things into her own hands.
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    The original look like this.
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    And it had degraded to look like this.
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    And then after her attempt to make a
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    true Jesus painting, it became this.
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    Yeah, Jesus in Planet of the Apes.
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    It didn't quite work very well for her.
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    See her intentions were in the right place, but what ended up
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    happening is that picture of Jesus
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    got worse and worse and worse.
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    I believe people have the greatest of intentions
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    when we look at our faith to deconstruct our faith.
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    It's the process of questioning why we believe what we believe.
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    It's the process of eliminating certain things
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    from our life to not believe them anymore.
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    It's a process of putting all kinds of
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    doubts on classical Christian teachings.
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    And I think that our heart's in the right way because
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    we just want to know and believe what is right.
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    And if things aren't working well, maybe
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    the things that I believed are not right.
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    This is what happens in our world today.
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    And instead, what we're doing is
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    we're just taking apart our life.
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    We're pulling it down. We're deconstructing.
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    We're destroying our life.
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    We're bolting things onto it
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    that probably shouldn't be there.
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    Like, I don't know that the Space
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    Shuttle needs to be where this is.
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    And I certainly don't know that a little
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    dragon needs to be in the top of London Bridge.
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    But we have this amalgamation of
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    things that just don't make sense.
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    And this is part of what we do with our life.
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    We just kind of bolt things on and we
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    take this off if we don't like that.
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    And the church should be a place where we can learn and we can
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    challenge ourselves and we can be
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    pushed and we can also be understood.
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    Today for the rest of our time, that's what I want to do.
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    I want to challenge you a little bit.
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    I want to push on you a little bit.
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    We all can be in our echo chambers,
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    and the internet is one large,
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    huge echo chamber of cynicism towards
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    faith and toward historic faith.
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    And the church can be an echo chamber too where people just
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    block out voices that are challenging
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    to them, a challenge to us.
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    And and I want to challenge all of us a little bit today
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    because my goal today is to help you grow spiritually.
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    That's what I want for you.
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    And here are some main reasons why
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    people deconstruct their faith.
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    One is terrible teaching.
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    We got taught things about Jesus a long time
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    ago that were terrible, that were just awful.
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    We got taught things that were only maybe
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    aligned to a specific political party, and so
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    we believed and we thought that politics
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    equals Jesus or politics equals Christianity.
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    That's a horrible teaching.
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    There's awful things that have been taught in the
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    name of Jesus that sane, rational people eventually
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    are going to come to recognize, "Wait a minute.
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    Wait a minute. If that is Jesus, I don't want that."
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    But it isn't because Jesus is wrong.
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    It's because we got terrible teaching connecting to Him.
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    You know, if your life is going to be
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    built to last, you have to learn what to
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    believe, what not to believe, and to
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    cling to a few things very, very tightly.
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    My theology, my beliefs are like a house.
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    It's like a sparsely held house.
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    I have a lot of beliefs, but I have very,
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    very few things that are nailed down.
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    Sometimes I go into a room that I thought I had my
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    understanding and belief on this with everything
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    and the furniture is like Poltergeist, the old
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    movie Poltergeist, is flying all over the room.
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    [sound effect]
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    Going all over the place.
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    And the problem is things have changed.
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    And the problem also is I might have
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    put too much furniture in that room.
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    The less furniture, the less core beliefs I can
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    have, but have it nailed down and stable, the better.
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    Some of us have had a terrible teaching.
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    Another reason is a lot of us deconstruct
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    because we've had church trauma.
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    Now again, we don't say these things.
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    We don't say it was my church trauma that
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    causes me to abandon the Christian faith.
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    We don't say it's our church trauma that
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    cause of me to not believe in Jesus.
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    We generally can't connect those things up,
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    but for many people, it has been church trauma.
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    I know somebody who was part of a youth
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    group in high school or junior high, and she
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    got sexually abused inside the sanctuary of
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    that church during her youth group night.
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    Now that creates a level of sexual and emotional
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    and spiritual abuse and baggage
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    that makes it very, very, very difficult to ever be
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    in church or hears somebody say something
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    who is in a position of leadership in a church
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    and not have a sense of cynicism about it.
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    The Big C. Church, the Capital C Church or the Small
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    C Church local churches has failed a lot of people.
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    But the institution isn't the same
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    thing as the person of Jesus Himself.
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    Another reason why we deconstruct our
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    faith is there's there's too much going on.
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    Our faith has become too complicated.
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    It's like this is exactly what
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    you have to believe about baptism.
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    This is exactly what we have to
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    believe about women in leadership.
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    This is exactly what we have to believe about the Rapture.
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    This is exactly what we have to believe about the end times.
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    This is exactly what you have to believe about that.
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    It's just exactly how you have to educate your kids.
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    Exactly how to have the discipline them.
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    It's all this stuff and it's the layering
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    on of more and more and more and more.
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    And before you know it, we suffocate.
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    Is the Earth 6,000 literal years old
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    and created and six literal days?
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    I don't think so.
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    You may think so, and that's okay for you to think so.
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    Maybe you're right and I'm wrong, but I'll tell
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    you one thing, if you do think that and you
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    have kids, it is not a good idea to make that
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    idea of Creation to be central to their faith.
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    People like St. Augustine long before Darwin ever came along
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    believed that those days don't have to be literal 24 hour days.
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    To give people the sense that this is right up
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    there with the Resurrection and the death of
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    Christ, it's just as important, you're creating
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    a suffocating system that people will rebel from.
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    Hey, if you're a giver at Crossroads, if you're a tither,
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    you give 10% of your income to the church, thank you so much.
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    It is so good to be in ministry with you.
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    No matter where you are financially
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    with Crossroads, I've got
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    to clue you into something, we're what's called a nonprofit.
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    That means you don't get any profit. We don't.
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    We operate on very, very thin margins.
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    Year end giving for nonprofits is always critical, and I want
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    to make an ask of you to be extra generous to your church.
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    We're your church digitally here and we're excited that
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    you're part of our church and that you are making us stronger.
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    We need to finish this year strong.
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    We want to do things like start a campus in Dayton, Ohio.
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    We want to do things like beef up your ability
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    to connect with us in a church digitally.
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    There's some piece of technology we want to do
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    that we don't have the resources for right now.
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    But if we all come together and we take this
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    seriously and keep honoring God with our finances,
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    we can finish the year strong and have more money
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    to do the things that God is asking us to do.
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    So you can do that by going to crossroads.net/give.
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    Whatever you do, whatever you don't
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    do, thanks for being part of the team.
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    People deconstruct their faith because
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    there's just too much attached to it.
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    There's too much going on.
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    And another reason we do is because we have a desire to sin.
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    Now, again, no one will ever say
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    this, but many people leave the
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    faith because the faith won't let
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    them do something they want to do.
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    A couple of years ago, years ago an unknown pastor,
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    previously unknown, became very, very well known.
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    He had his moment in Twitter fame
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    because he denounced his faith.
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    He was an evangelical pastor and he denounced his faith,
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    and people just lit up all over the place with it.
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    What they didn't know at the time is this wasn't
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    because he was having new problems with the faith.
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    It's because he had been disciplined by the board
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    of his church for having an extramarital affair.
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    His problem wasn't with the tenets of Jesus.
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    His problem was he couldn't live life the way Jesus told
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    him not to live, so therefore he decided to eliminate it.
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    A similar thing happened not too long ago with Joshua Harris.
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    He wrote the runaway bestseller that
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    evangelical kids read in the '90s
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    called I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and
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    he basically kissed his faith goodbye.
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    And it came on the heels of him seeking divorce,
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    which he didn't have biblical grounds for.
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    As many people leave the faith and
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    they'll say, well, it's because this
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    thing I couldn't believe any longer or
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    this thing I couldn't do any longer.
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    It's also because God wouldn't allow me
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    to do this, and I would rather do this and
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    not have God than be over here and be in
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    the faith that aligns itself with God.
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    There's another category for those
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    who deconstruct, it's the one
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    I call is it's I don't like my life, or my life isn't working.
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    This is by folks who, again, we don't -- I believe
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    it's the best of hearts and best of intentions
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    that people deconstruct and people walk away
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    from beliefs and walk away from their faith.
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    I really don't think that anyone has a vendetta to be
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    angry at God and a vendetta to make other people doubt.
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    I just think this is the sort of background
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    software that's happening and we don't pick up on.
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    And for many of us, we've grown up with a
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    belief that if we did all the right things,
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    if we kept all the morals,
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    if we did all the spiritual disciplines,
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    then we would have a life that we wanted.
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    And now we get to an age we say, "I don't like my life.
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    I don't like the choices I've had to get me here.
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    I don't feel like I've had the appropriate
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    financial breaks that somebody should
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    have had who who kept their nose clean
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    morally and spiritually like I have.
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    I'm not seeing traction.
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    I'm not getting married. I thought I would get married.
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    I thought I'd have kids or I thought I would
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    have kids that were healthy or I thought this.
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    And we just don't like our life.
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    And so we look at our life, we think, "I thought
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    I was living the way God wanted me to do it,
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    And this is the awful life.
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    So obviously the things that God was supposed to
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    do for me, He hasn't done for me, He hasn't held
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    up my end of the bargain or His end of the bargain,
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    therefore, I'm going to deconstruct my faith.
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    Now, Jesus had an interaction once with
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    somebody who was deconstructing his beliefs,
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    or at least he was open to deconstructing his beliefs,
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    and he had a little bit of a challenge with.
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    I'm going to read it for you, it comes
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    a book of John 3:1 and following.
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    It says this:
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    And Jesus answered him --
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    Well, actually, before I tell you what Jesus said to him.
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    Nicodemus, a very well-known Jewish leader,
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    teacher, ruler, and he comes to Him at night,
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    probably because he wants to make sure he's not seen
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    because it could be seen like he's questioning his faith
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    or opening himself to ideas
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    that other people think he shouldn't be open to.
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    So Nicodemus comes at night.
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    This is the beginning of Nick at Night.
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    It's Nick at Night. Get it? Nick at Night.
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    And here's what Jesus says him, verse three:
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    "Truly, truly, I say to you,
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    unless one is born again he cannot see the Kingdom of God."
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    Nicodemus said to Him, "How can a man be born when he is old?
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    Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?"
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    Jesus says to Nicodemus, you have to start all over.
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    You have to be born again.
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    This is a very crazy phrase that a lot of people
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    in America get very, very uncomfortable with.
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    I'm not sure why we get uncomfortable with it,
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    but we get very comfortable with it.
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    Maybe it's because there are a bunch of weird people
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    who used to talk about being born again.
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    Maybe that's one of the reasons
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    why we're uncomfortable about it.
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    Maybe we're uncomfortable about the phrase born again
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    for the same reason that Nicodemus is,
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    because Nicodemus hears that he hears,
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    "You have to start all over again, all over again."
  • 00:14:08
    All the things that you've learned,
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    all the things that you've done,
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    all these things that are important, they're fine,
  • 00:14:13
    but you have to start all over again.
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    Be born again.
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    Many people have a hard time coming into the faith
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    and embracing God because it would mean
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    something new for my life I'm not ready to do.
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    I'm okay to eliminate things from my life.
  • 00:14:31
    I'm OK to take down things from my life,
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    tear things from my life,
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    but to add something in my life,
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    that would be really difficult.
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    What's the last thing new that you did?
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    Most of us when we graduate college,
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    or if you don't go to college, it was high school,
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    most of us haven't tried anything new since then.
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    We only did something new before because we were forced to it.
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    When's the last time you got a new friendship
  • 00:14:57
    with somebody who wasn't at work?
  • 00:14:59
    When's the last time you had a new hobby?
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    When's the last time you went to a new place for a vacation?
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    When's the last time you took on a new core discipline,
  • 00:15:07
    a new core spiritual discipline?
  • 00:15:09
    Very, very few of us do.
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    And Nicodemus isn't sure that he wants to do this.
  • 00:15:14
    So he plays along with the metaphor and says,
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    "How am I going to crawl back up inside of my mother's womb?
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    How can I be reborn again?"
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    It's like I can't get up inside my mom's birth canal.
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    I wouldn't fit up there right now.
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    He's just recognizing, admitting that
  • 00:15:27
    this is an uncomfortable thing for him.
  • 00:15:29
    Here's what Jesus says:
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    In order for us to thrive spiritually,
  • 00:16:08
    two things have to happen.
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    One, we have to be born,
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    I believe that's what it means to be born of water,
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    because all of us when we were born
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    there was a breaking of water in our mother's womb.
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    So you've got to be born physically.
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    And the second thing to thrive spiritually
  • 00:16:25
    is you have to be born spiritually.
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    There is something spiritual that has to happen to us
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    that's outside of ourselves that comes into ourselves
  • 00:16:37
    that makes us new people.
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    That gets us on the right path.
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    Hey, if you're deconstructing, great,
  • 00:16:44
    you're in the right place. I'm glad you're here.
  • 00:16:46
    But understand we're not going to help you deconstruct
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    or if we do, we're only going to do it
  • 00:16:51
    to the point where you now can start to build,
  • 00:16:54
    where you can now to start to put things
  • 00:16:57
    back into your life, because that's what God wants.
  • 00:17:02
    He wants you to be thriving and have a life that works.
  • 00:17:06
    And for that to work, you and I are going
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    to have to start to eliminate certain things
  • 00:17:13
    that we articulate that sound really spiritual
  • 00:17:16
    and really good, but they're just not true.
  • 00:17:19
    They're the kind of things,
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    if you believe them and you put them into practice,
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    you will have to deconstruct them later
  • 00:17:25
    or your life will just not work.
  • 00:17:28
    This isn't political commentary today.
  • 00:17:31
    This is spiritual formation.
  • 00:17:33
    According the Barna Organization,
  • 00:17:36
    67% of churchgoing Christians believe quote:
  • 00:17:39
    Enjoying yourself is the highest goal of life.
  • 00:17:43
    I like to enjoy myself.
  • 00:17:45
    Enjoying myself is not the highest goal of life.
  • 00:17:48
    Jesus in the Bible never says the highest goal of life
  • 00:17:51
    is to enjoy ourselves.
  • 00:17:53
    67% of them, let me tell you what, if 67% of them believe
  • 00:17:56
    that, when your life doesn't work, what are you going to do?
  • 00:17:59
    You're going to have to
  • 00:18:01
    deconstruct or destroy your faith
  • 00:18:03
    because Jesus tells us to pick up our cross and follow Him.
  • 00:18:08
    It doesn't tell us to just enjoy our life.
  • 00:18:10
    Another poll showed that 84% of the total
  • 00:18:13
    population in America believe this is true.
  • 00:18:17
    91% affirmed the statement that to
  • 00:18:21
    find yourself, look within yourself.
  • 00:18:25
    When you have a faith that's based
  • 00:18:27
    on inside of yourself, you have faith
  • 00:18:28
    that at some point is going to have
  • 00:18:30
    to be deconstructed and destroyed.
  • 00:18:34
    When I graduated from high school
  • 00:18:35
    outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
  • 00:18:37
    I wanted to do what some of the other people did,
  • 00:18:39
    we all wanted to find ourselves.
  • 00:18:41
    I need to find myself.
  • 00:18:42
    And I don't know what it was about living
  • 00:18:45
    in Pittsburgh in the early 1980s, we all
  • 00:18:47
    thought that to find yourself you had to
  • 00:18:49
    take this epic road trip out to California.
  • 00:18:51
    Why? Find yourself.
  • 00:18:55
    Someone told me, and I'll just quote them.
  • 00:18:58
    They said, "Well, what if you find an A-hole?
  • 00:19:00
    Not exactly what they said, but this is church.
  • 00:19:03
    What if you find an A-hole?
  • 00:19:05
    I chose to never make that trip
  • 00:19:07
    because I didn't want to find that.
  • 00:19:09
    And also, I couldn't figure out how to do it.
  • 00:19:11
    But the the mystique, the romance of taking a trip
  • 00:19:16
    where I find what's inside of myself
  • 00:19:19
    and who I already am.
  • 00:19:21
    If I only find myself, then I'll really find God.
  • 00:19:25
    This is the path for existential meaning today.
  • 00:19:28
    All the truth and the answers are inside of yourself.
  • 00:19:34
    Years ago, my first trip to India, we were doing
  • 00:19:37
    a trip to explore how to do aftercare for the girls
  • 00:19:40
    that we had rescued out of the sex slave industry in India.
  • 00:19:44
    And one of the homes we visited to
  • 00:19:45
    we were able to sit it on.
  • 00:19:46
    An outside speaker came in and brought a bunch of drums
  • 00:19:49
    and we all had drums
  • 00:19:50
    and people were banging on the drums
  • 00:19:51
    and this speaker was leading all the girls
  • 00:19:53
    and us through this really cool thing.
  • 00:19:55
    It was cool to bang drums and get your frustrations out.
  • 00:19:58
    And all of us were in beat.
  • 00:19:59
    It was really, really cool.
  • 00:20:01
    It was all good until we started to talk.
  • 00:20:03
    They said to these girls, "All the we have,
  • 00:20:06
    everything that we need is inside of ourselves."
  • 00:20:09
    I remember looking around at these girls
  • 00:20:11
    as they said everything we need is inside ourselves.
  • 00:20:13
    I remember looking at their face
  • 00:20:15
    and their faces were like this.
  • 00:20:18
    They were buying it at all.
  • 00:20:19
    Tell you what, once you've been in slavery,
  • 00:20:22
    sex slavery, and the only way you got out of slavery
  • 00:20:25
    is somebody from outside came inside and rescued you,
  • 00:20:29
    you realize you didn't have the resources.
  • 00:20:31
    This is what Jesus saying.
  • 00:20:32
    He says the Spirit is blowing.
  • 00:20:35
    You must be born again.
  • 00:20:36
    You have to be born of the water and of the Spirit.
  • 00:20:39
    The Spirit has to come into your life from outside
  • 00:20:41
    because you and I don't have the resources.
  • 00:20:44
    What he said was spiritually enlightened,
  • 00:20:47
    it sounds like today, but was actually insensitive.
  • 00:20:49
    It was elitist and it was out of touch with their reality.
  • 00:20:53
    And this is the thinking that
  • 00:20:55
    persists in American culture today.
  • 00:20:56
    We say things like, "You be you."
  • 00:20:59
    In other words, everything you need is inside of yourself.
  • 00:21:02
    You just be the best version of yourself.
  • 00:21:06
    Or hey to thyself be true.
  • 00:21:08
    Which is not Jesus who said that.
  • 00:21:11
    That's Shakespeare who said it,
  • 00:21:13
    to be more specific, it's the character Polonius
  • 00:21:19
    who said it that Shakespeare created.
  • 00:21:21
    And this Polonius, if you know anything about it,
  • 00:21:23
    he was an utter bore.
  • 00:21:25
    NoSweatShakespeare.com says this, it says,
  • 00:21:28
    "Coming from Polonius, this advice to be true to oneself
  • 00:21:31
    is pompous, hypocritical, and empty.
  • 00:21:34
    And it is a tribute to Shakespeare
  • 00:21:36
    that he can produce a speech that is quoted for 400 years
  • 00:21:39
    as definitive wisdom about human behavior,
  • 00:21:42
    although it comes from a character
  • 00:21:45
    who was a disreputable and hypocritical empty weasel."
  • 00:21:50
    Jesus never tells us to be true to ourselves.
  • 00:21:53
    If He did then He wouldn't be a Savior.
  • 00:21:54
    Saviors come and do for us what we can't do
  • 00:21:56
    for ourselves because we can't do it ourselves.
  • 00:21:59
    He comes from outside and He invites us to receive
  • 00:22:02
    Him, not only a Savior, but to receive Him as Lord.
  • 00:22:06
    When I'm deconstructing and when I'm taking things away,
  • 00:22:10
    I'm playing Lord, I'm playing Savior of my own life,
  • 00:22:13
    which might be understandable if I've had people in
  • 00:22:17
    spiritual authority who have hurt me and have abused me.
  • 00:22:21
    But that's on them, they are bad people
  • 00:22:23
    who did you an awful disservice.
  • 00:22:25
    That's not Jesus, nor is it the historic Christian faith.
  • 00:22:31
    I found a story recently, people in
  • 00:22:33
    our community in Dayton, Ohio, who
  • 00:22:35
    actually had deconstructed their life
  • 00:22:38
    and marriage and then reconstructed it.
  • 00:22:40
    Let's see it.
  • 00:22:42
    - I'm Sarah.
  • 00:22:43
    - I'm Dan's Swizler and we go to Crossroads Dayton.
  • 00:22:46
    So at the end of 2014 we lost
  • 00:22:48
    my mom, my dad, and my brother unexpectedly.
  • 00:22:52
    We had been married about a year
  • 00:22:54
    and God was obviously with us at that time,
  • 00:22:56
    but we weren't actively pursuing God
  • 00:22:59
    or following Jesus by any means.
  • 00:23:02
    - And it was just hard putting one foot in
  • 00:23:04
    front of the other every day and just waking up
  • 00:23:07
    and get through the day and go to sleep and
  • 00:23:09
    wake up and get through the day and go to sleep.
  • 00:23:12
    We were just surviving.
  • 00:23:13
    We weren't living, we were just surviving.
  • 00:23:15
    - To the average person they we looked like we did well.
  • 00:23:19
    We got through it, but eventually
  • 00:23:21
    led to our separation and our divorce.
  • 00:23:24
    - I felt like a shell of a human,
  • 00:23:26
    like there was nothing left in me.
  • 00:23:31
    - We weren't there for each other, we weren't --
  • 00:23:34
    Our faith wasn't there.
  • 00:23:36
    We didn't do the things we needed to do for each other.
  • 00:23:39
    - Right.
  • 00:23:41
    I never stopped praying that God would soften his heart
  • 00:23:48
    and that he wouldn't be angry at me anymore.
  • 00:23:54
    - I'm dealing with the divorce, still the deaths,
  • 00:23:57
    and some depression, probably,
  • 00:23:59
    but I knew something was missing in my life
  • 00:24:02
    after we were divorced.
  • 00:24:03
    I mean, even before we got divorced.
  • 00:24:05
    One day I was at the gym where I lived
  • 00:24:08
    and I met a guy, I talked to him a couple of times
  • 00:24:10
    while we were there, just in passing, just small talk.
  • 00:24:12
    And it turned out it was Andy Ryder,
  • 00:24:15
    my friend, Pastor at Crossroads Dayton.
  • 00:24:18
    And I knew instantly that I needed God in my life.
  • 00:24:21
    I've always believed, even though I've never followed.
  • 00:24:24
    It led me to want to go to Crossroads.
  • 00:24:25
    It was this exact time also
  • 00:24:27
    where Sarah reached out to me.
  • 00:24:30
    We reconnected and we actually went to Crossroads together.
  • 00:24:34
    I loved having her back in my life.
  • 00:24:35
    I liked where my life was heading with God.
  • 00:24:38
    It was that Man Camp that, I still remember,
  • 00:24:42
    where Pastor Tome was talking.
  • 00:24:45
    And he -- I'll paraphrased because
  • 00:24:47
    I will not do it justice, "If
  • 00:24:48
    you're in a relationship, go home,
  • 00:24:50
    ask her to marry you or break up."
  • 00:24:53
    Definitely did not want to break up with my ex-wife,
  • 00:24:56
    so she picked me up in Cincinnati
  • 00:24:59
    after we got done with Man Camp
  • 00:25:01
    I asked her to marry me again on the way home from.
  • 00:25:06
    - All of these things that happened,
  • 00:25:07
    these bad things that happen when we were divorced,
  • 00:25:11
    they were all necessary.
  • 00:25:15
    It's terrible to think about it that way,
  • 00:25:17
    but they were all necessary things that needed
  • 00:25:20
    to happen to us to get us to where we are today.
  • 00:25:24
    - Since I began following God,
  • 00:25:28
    things have been tremendous.
  • 00:25:29
    And it's not just about the countless --
  • 00:25:37
    It's not just about the countless blessings,
  • 00:25:39
    because even if those aren't there.
  • 00:25:44
    - Going to church together,
  • 00:25:45
    being together with God and our marriage,
  • 00:25:51
    it's so much better this time.
  • 00:25:57
    - Man, I love that line.
  • 00:25:59
    Very true for many of us.
  • 00:26:01
    Wake up. Get through the day. Go to sleep.
  • 00:26:05
    Wake up, get through the day, go to sleep.
  • 00:26:09
    Wake up, get through the day, go to sleep.
  • 00:26:12
    As I said, they become a shell of themselves.
  • 00:26:16
    When we're drawn to deconstruct, it's because
  • 00:26:19
    we feel like we're a shell of ourselves.
  • 00:26:21
    We feel like we're stuck.
  • 00:26:23
    We feel like life isn't working.
  • 00:26:25
    We feel like things are just overwhelming me.
  • 00:26:30
    And there is a place for eliminating
  • 00:26:31
    certain beliefs from our life that are bad beliefs.
  • 00:26:34
    There's a place for eliminating maybe
  • 00:26:38
    parts of this Christian subculture that
  • 00:26:40
    are not healthy and are not helpful.
  • 00:26:42
    But we've got to get on the birth side.
  • 00:26:44
    We've got to get on the rebirth side.
  • 00:26:46
    We've got to get on the new life side.
  • 00:26:48
    We've got to get on the building side.
  • 00:26:50
    That's who Jesus is.
  • 00:26:52
    That's what He has been doing for millennia
  • 00:26:55
    and in millions and millions of people.
  • 00:26:58
    Don't listen to only the disgruntled Americans
  • 00:27:01
    who have not had their brand of American Christianity
  • 00:27:04
    work out for them the way that they wanted.
  • 00:27:07
    Don't listen to them.
  • 00:27:08
    Listen to the greats and the people right now
  • 00:27:11
    all over the world who maybe don't have a great life,
  • 00:27:14
    may have a very persecuted life,
  • 00:27:15
    but there is a deep abiding presence of Jesus
  • 00:27:19
    through the Holy Spirit because that's who He is.
  • 00:27:22
    That's what he does.
  • 00:27:23
    You do that, you'll be on rock solid ground.
  • 00:27:27
    God, I thank You for being true,
  • 00:27:29
    being real, and being clear.
  • 00:27:32
    We choose to build our life on You. Amen.
  • 00:27:35
    - Thanks, Brian.
  • 00:27:36
    Hey, listen, I know deconstruction is hard
  • 00:27:39
    to be introduced through,
  • 00:27:40
    and it's even harder if you're going through it.
  • 00:27:42
    If you have any questions about deconstruction
  • 00:27:44
    or really anything else, I want you to email me
  • 00:27:46
    at Kyle.Ranson@Crossroads.net.
  • 00:27:49
    We're in this series called Rock Solid.
  • 00:27:51
    It's really following up on our church wide Journey.
  • 00:27:53
    If you're interested in volunteering with us,
  • 00:27:56
    that Journey was about how do you serve?
  • 00:27:58
    How do you get in the game with church?
  • 00:28:00
    Not just watch church, but be the church.
  • 00:28:02
    You can go to online crossroads.net/volunteer.
  • 00:28:06
    And along with all of that,
  • 00:28:07
    if you're interested in getting baptized,
  • 00:28:09
    if you want to take that step towards following God,
  • 00:28:11
    you can go to online.crossroads.net/baptism.
  • 00:28:14
    We would love to be part of your step forward
  • 00:28:17
    into a life of following Christ signified through baptism.
  • 00:28:20
    Thanks. We'll see you next week.
  • 00:28:23
    - I've always had a relationship with God.
  • 00:28:24
    I've always loved God and always believed in God.
  • 00:28:28
    I just kind of went astray for a little bit.
  • 00:28:37
    It was actually last year around the time that I met the
  • 00:28:40
    church, I was going through a really difficult time, just with
  • 00:28:44
    everything going on in the world,
  • 00:28:46
    politics, all that good stuff,
  • 00:28:48
    you know, COVID hitting and I was just in a really dark place.
  • 00:28:52
    And there were some things happening with
  • 00:28:55
    friends and family and just a lot of controversy.
  • 00:28:58
    And I one day was just thinking
  • 00:29:00
    like, "This is not me, like, I'm
  • 00:29:02
    living for the world and not for
  • 00:29:04
    Jesus or what I should be living for."
  • 00:29:07
    And so I just -- I picked up my Bible,
  • 00:29:09
    and I haven't put it down since.
  • 00:29:12
    Like I said, we do everything online with the church
  • 00:29:15
    that we have found so far, and it's just been amazing.
  • 00:29:19
    And so my life has just completely changed.
  • 00:29:23
    My name is Kayla, and today I'm going to be baptized.
  • 00:29:26
    - My name is Marcus Lyles.
  • 00:29:28
    I'm getting baptized today.
  • 00:29:29
    - My name is Breland and I'm getting baptized.
  • 00:29:32
    - My name is Jacoby and today I'm getting baptized.
  • 00:29:35
    - My name is Marcus and today I'm getting baptized.
  • 00:29:38
    - Well, when we first started Crossroads,
  • 00:29:42
    like I said, or my wife said,
  • 00:29:44
    we were introduced by her aunt and we got the link.
  • 00:29:47
    And we were basically hooked ever since.
  • 00:29:50
    I mean, the personalities were great
  • 00:29:52
    and they broke it down and broke things down to us
  • 00:29:54
    in a way that we could understand it.
  • 00:29:57
    And it just really kept me in my Bible
  • 00:30:02
    and kept me focused on the important things in life.
  • 00:30:07
    And like I said, I used to stray a lot.
  • 00:30:10
    I couldn't stay focused on that.
  • 00:30:12
    But now I realize that's the most important thing.
  • 00:30:17
    - I personally have always wanted to be baptized,
  • 00:30:19
    I just like I said, I've never really had the opportunity.
  • 00:30:24
    And at the time, I kind of felt like since I wasn't
  • 00:30:26
    a part of a church, I didn't -- even though I wanted
  • 00:30:29
    to, I didn't want to just reach out to any random, you
  • 00:30:32
    know, church or stranger and ask them to baptize me.
  • 00:30:34
    So I, one, like I said, we feel like family.
  • 00:30:38
    We feel like this is home.
  • 00:30:40
    And I felt so comfortable asking you guys.
  • 00:30:43
    But really, as a family, we've talked about it
  • 00:30:46
    just we've all been saved by the Holy Spirit.
  • 00:30:50
    We've all, but this is like the next step,
  • 00:30:53
    like, this is the next thing that we need to do
  • 00:30:55
    to just feel complete in our walk with Jesus.
  • 00:30:58
    So here we are.
  • 00:31:00
    - It means everything. It means everything to me.
  • 00:31:02
    I mean, having that bond with God and Jesus rest of my life
  • 00:31:07
    and devoting my life to Him fully and ceremoniously.
  • 00:31:15
    It's very important to me,
  • 00:31:17
    and I've been wanting to do it ever since I was a child
  • 00:31:20
    - Because we talked with each of them about
  • 00:31:23
    like what this means.
  • 00:31:24
    And they are old enough at this point that
  • 00:31:30
    they understood, they knew what they were doing.
  • 00:31:32
    They wanted to do this.
  • 00:31:34
    - Just to wipe all the sins away
  • 00:31:38
    that from the past means a lot.
  • 00:31:43
    - It's amazing.
  • 00:31:44
    - We explained to them what it meant to be baptized.
  • 00:31:49
    And you could tell it was in their heart to get baptized.
  • 00:31:53
    You know what I mean?
  • 00:31:54
    Like, they wanted it just as much as we did.
  • 00:31:57
    And just to see that it just made me proud as a father,
  • 00:32:01
    you know, and I'm sure her as a wife,
  • 00:32:05
    that we're doing a good job teaching them.
  • 00:32:06
    - Yes.
  • 00:32:09
    - I feel enlightened.
  • 00:32:10
    - Yes. That is like the perfect word.
  • 00:32:13
    - I feel enlightened.
  • 00:32:15
    - Like --
  • 00:32:16
    - It's hard to describe.
  • 00:32:19
    - It's so hard to put into words.
  • 00:32:21
    - It's a feeling.
  • 00:32:22
    - I feel just like a new person.
  • 00:32:23
    - Right. Exactly.
  • 00:32:26
    - And it was a long time coming and I'm just so happy.
  • 00:32:30
    - Absolutely.

Process, journal or discuss the themes of this article - here's a few questions to get the ball rolling...

Welcome to the Weekend Follow-Up.

  1. What’s your best (or worse) experience building Legos? Or have you just stepped on them at night?

  2. Read John 20:24-29. How does it feel hearing that God welcomes our doubts? What areas of your faith does that knowledge invite you to explore?

  3. If you have deconstructed your faith in some way, which of the 5 Reasons for Deconstruction (Terrible Teaching, Church Trauma, Too Much Going On, Desire to Sin, or I Don’t Like My Life) that Brian outlined have you experienced in your own life? Describe the experience to the group.

  4. Read 1 Corinthians 3:10-11. Brian said that the foundational question we should build our faith on is “Jesus, who are You and what are You about?” What questions can you ask or beliefs can you confront this week to build your faith on the foundation of who Jesus is and about?

  5. Now close your time in prayer. Here’s an example: “Lord, thank you for coming to us in our doubts, our fears, and our traumas. Thank you for providing your Son, who not only saved us but gave us a firm foundation to build our lives on. Please give us strength to live in uncertainty, that is, to live in faith, rather than in the comfort of human systems and traditions and philosophies. You are our rock, our cornerstone. Amen.

More from the Weekend

Read John 1:14. At Crossroads we’re about the power of God who transforms lives. Everyday we’re getting outside ourselves trying to make a difference in the world. One way we do this is partnering with organizations who literally are changing the world everyday. If you want to jump in and start giving risk free, you can try the 90 day tithe test here.

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Nov 14, 2021 32 mins 54 sec

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